So, how does one go about Co-writing without killing the other writer? Well, its not easy. Believe me, I taught writing for many moons and 99.9% of people are very possessive of their words. How dare you change that word, thought, idea? You suck. You don't understand me. I hate you. Drop dead. Yep, I heard it all. In trying to help students become better writers, I had students fight with me, cry on me, and roll their eyes too many times to count. And these were the college students!
You have to be very careful when sharing ideas and even more careful when giving and accepting constructive criticism. Egos bruise easily. Here are things that I found, through trial and error, that really help the co-writing or editing process.
First, get to know the person before you read their work. Writing is very personal and people don't want strangers reading their work and telling them what's wrong with it. I finally became a good writing teacher when I got to know my students' individual interests and they got to know some extracurricular stuff about me. It made it easier for us to have a dialogue about their writing without crying or cursing. It was just productive re-visioning.
Second, read through without a red pen (its a subconscious memory of glaring "F's" in grade school)- I like green pens- and while editing, make comments on all the things you LIKE as you read as well. That way, people can see exactly what phrases, passages, chapters, etc. are working. When I taught, my students would freak out when I passed back their first essays of the school year because they saw writing all over it. "What is this?" they'd ask, all up in arms.
"Did you read the comments?" I'd ask.
Reluctantly, they'd begin to read the comments, but then smiles would slowly creep across their faces when they realized that 3/4 of the writing were compliments. Later on in the year, they couldn't wait to get back their essays to see what I had enjoyed in their papers. Some of them would even stay after class to talk to me excitedly about the things I had pointed out that they had taken a risk on!
Third: it is usually not your job to change the other writer's words. You can offer a suggestion in the margin, but do not try to make them sound like yourself as a writer. Let them have their own voice. You can only change words if words are misused, misspelled, or if they change the tone of the piece. In graduate school I went from one professor to another who wanted each class to write just like him or her. And none of them wrote like the other. It was ridiculous. I thought I was losing my mind and I almost lost my writing voice in the process. After graduation, I decided I did not want my writing to sound "scholarly" and not be understood by 60% or more of the population, so I broke free of everything I learned in college and grad school and learned to write like me again.
Nobel prize authors win awards because they don't sound like everybody else.
Well, that's a good start for any joint writing projects you may wish to endeavor in. I'll add some more tips as I think of them. For now, I want to get back to my work. If you don't work, you don't have any writing, and if there isn't any writing, you have nothing to sell . . .
Peace!
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